For many people apologising for their negative emotions is an instinctive response. We are told from a young age that we shouldn’t cry or express anger and that is an incredibly damaging concept! If we can’t express our sadness or our anger then these emotions remain inside of us, causing us unnecessary harm. We are told, as children, that crying is a sign of weakness and that we need to “suck it up” and be strong. However, it is important to be aware that crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it is a natural response to certain emotions and situations.
Not passing this negativity on to our own children is incredibly important if we are to teach them how to understand and process their emotions. Teaching them that crying is shameful is detrimental to their emotional development and will cause them to associate sadness with shame. Creating an environment in which our children feel safe and able to cry is an essential part of creating a loving environment for them to thrive.
In order to eradicate this negative association from our own lives, both for our own benefit and also to prevent psychological damage to our children, we must work to embrace our pain and anxieties. Allowing yourself compassion is the best way to extend your compassionate thoughts to others and to break the cycle of shame.
When you’re in a situation that makes you feel like crying, it’s important to remember that it’s totally okay to do so! Trying to stem your tears will cause you to lose focus of your emotions and lessen your ability to deal with the problem constructively. There are several additional reasons that you might not want to express your emotions with crying, such as being in public or the fear of making someone else uncomfortable. However, we have to be aware of the fact that everyone else around us is human too! Everybody has, at some time, felt what you are feeling and nobody is going to show any negativity towards you for simply expressing your emotions!
By first undoing the damage that has been done to us by acknowledging that there is no shame in crying, we can move towards accepting our emotions! It is only then that we will be equipped to navigate upsetting situations with a clear head, resulting in a more satisfying solution!