Why it’s Okay to Cry

For many people apologising for their negative emotions is an instinctive response. We are told from a young age that we shouldn’t cry or express anger and that is an incredibly damaging concept! If we can’t express our sadness or our anger then these emotions remain inside of us, causing us unnecessary harm. We are told, as children, that crying is a sign of weakness and that we need to “suck it up” and be strong. However, it is important to be aware that crying isn’t a sign of weakness, it is a natural response to certain emotions and situations.

Not passing this negativity on to our own children is incredibly important if we are to teach them how to understand and process their emotions. Teaching them that crying is shameful is detrimental to their emotional development and will cause them to associate sadness with shame. Creating an environment in which our children feel safe and able to cry is an essential part of creating a loving environment for them to thrive.

In order to eradicate this negative association from our own lives, both for our own benefit and also to prevent psychological damage to our children, we must work to embrace our pain and anxieties. Allowing yourself compassion is the best way to extend your compassionate thoughts to others and to break the cycle of shame.

When you’re in a situation that makes you feel like crying, it’s important to remember that it’s totally okay to do so! Trying to stem your tears will cause you to lose focus of your emotions and lessen your ability to deal with the problem constructively. There are several additional reasons that you might not want to express your emotions with crying, such as being in public or the fear of making someone else uncomfortable. However, we have to be aware of the fact that everyone else around us is human too! Everybody has, at some time, felt what you are feeling and nobody is going to show any negativity towards you for simply expressing your emotions!

By first undoing the damage that has been done to us by acknowledging that there is no shame in crying, we can move towards accepting our emotions! It is only then that we will be equipped to navigate upsetting situations with a clear head, resulting in a more satisfying solution!


21 Comments Add yours

  1. I love this blog ! I Wrote a piece that I havent yet blogged , it’s about being the witness of emotions with no attachment .. I work in childcare so when the kids cry I let them cry and just nurture them and let them know they are safe and talk about there feelings xx

    1. juliemontagu says:

      I’d love to read your piece if you write it! Thanks for visiting 🙂

  2. Of course it is okay!!!

  3. Maria Helena says:

    very important article! I totally agree, there is no reason why we should be ashamed of our feelings! always keeping our feelings inside of us and trying to hide them can be really dangerous, one day we will not know anymore how to get rid of all the negative feelings that have built up inside of us

  4. rhiannon228 says:

    This is definitely my idea, too!

  5. weldontinatv says:

    Great article! Some people look at crying as a form of weakness but it’s really not. We’re expressing emotions that need to be out. Holding it in can result in negativity in our mind & soul.

  6. so true! i have to remind myself this, pretty much on a weekly/daily basis! love your blog!

  7. jazzrockz says:

    I have nominated you for the Liebster Award! Check out for more details on my blogxx

  8. People have told my son that he needs to learn not to cry. I make sure he cries whenever he feels like he should.

  9. Dany Rrg says:

    I loved your post. So truthful, thank you for saying this. You actually pinpointed exactly how I have felt all my life about crying.
    Love your blog!

  10. amandakusek says:

    Such an important idea and one that I still struggle with as an adult. I have to remind myself that my feelings are valid and that it is totally ok to cry! Thanks for sharing.

  11. rcMorton says:

    Reblogged this on Rykers Mom and commented:
    So true!

  12. LovelySasu says:

    Reblogged this on LovelyWe and commented:
    So true to remember.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s